Isn’t it true that all of us are looking to be admired and applauded for the things that we hold so close to us and identify ourselves deeply with? At the same time, we do get hurt when someone attacks us on “so close to heart” stuff that we are so proud of.
Let me explain with an example. If you are great musician and you love the music you have created with so much of passion and love and subconsciously you do expect people to like it. Some might love it based on their taste and some will totally dislike it. This is what all of us experience in our respective fields as well.
Since we do live in a very connected world and everyone has the right to speak, we tend to find many critical voices around us, more than ever before. The most important thing to understand about ‘judgements’ is that they are all biased based on our past experiences. The stories we construct based on our own unique experience is relative to our understanding of that experience as a pain or pleasure and hence we build opinions, likes and dislikes and this is what we call — CONDITIONING!
So, what do you do if you get criticized? Stress out? Feel hurt by rejection?
Or is there any better way to approach it?
Below are some insights that can open your mind to new perspectives and can transform your outlook towards “Stress on Criticism and Rejection”
1. Everyone has their own story
Yeah, that’s true. We have lot of identifications starting from our nation, culture, religion, status, labels and so on. With these identifications, we have developed stories in our mind which we continue to feed in during our lifespan. It’s mostly about who we think we are and how we need to be treated, appreciated and accepted.
Also, in our stories we also have perceptions about the world, people and things that matters to us. All these so called perceptions, beliefs or stories are unique and based on our own experiences only. It’s nothing much to do with anyone else’s reality. So, when someone is critical towards how you look, talk, behave or perform, it could be merely their projection and not the entire reality.
It’s about their STORY and their BELIEFS which has nothing to do with YOUR REALITY.
This understanding is liberating in nature as you are not looking for validation from others to be loving & accepting yourself wholeheartedly. A constructive feedback should always be welcomed but when you notice someone being judge without knowing you and your circumstances, simply let go of it as it’s totally irrelevant to you in actual.
2. Stories are not as Real as you think.
Your mind got conditioned based on the past experiences and atmosphere you grew up in and subconsciously absorb so much from the situations, challenges, culture and societal norms we come across.
This conditioning can be altered by new experiences as one grows and get into different situations which forced him to change the belief systems. So, YOUR PRESENT STORY ABOUT STUFF IS ALSO NOT A REALITY.
For everyone their conditioning appears as real as you think of yours. So who is right??? Both, right? And who knows, his story might also change after series of different experiences and during the journey of life.
Learning being respectful and accepting others’ judgements or critical comments become easier when you build the awareness that they are only projecting what they are conditioned for. This allows us DETACHING ourselves from negative energy which we tend to create when our mind is in defensive mode.
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3. You are not here to impact everyone
Here is the thing. We need to abide to this simple truth. Not everyone is going to be affected by your presence or absence in the world. So, focus on the ones who you think you can connect with, serve and impact positively. That’s it. Instead of focusing on the ones who dislike you, are critical towards your choices, you make a shift and focus on the ones who are supporting you, loving you and are looking up to you to help them in some way. Those are the people who will always remember you and take your legacy further.
Don’t get stuck in creating negative energy that depletes you and make you less effective and productive. People are always going to be around and some will love and support and others will criticize. It’s not wise to disturb your peace of mind over other’s conditioning. You embrace it and pave your path with focus, positivity and hard work towards your visions and serve those who give you a shout out and make you feel great about yourself.